To Solve a Friend's Problem
by ZareEraz
Summary: During regular club hours, Tamaki runs into a little snag when Kyoya calls him "daddy." Now the vice-president has to fix the problem before anyone else notices what's going on in Tamaki's pants! Lemon one-shot.


ZareEraz here! My first fic for Ouran! Yay! First though…some disclaimers.

Number One: I do NOT own Ouran Highschool Host Club!

2\. This is MATURE content intended for MATURE audiences and includes sexual acts. If you don't like it don't read it! And please don't flame…it's not nice.

3) I have also NOT written any mature fics up until this point, so be nice! (I will take constructive comments for improvements though :3)

…Other than that…you can all play in the sandbox with me! Enjoy! :3

Note: Updated as of 7/25/15 because the friend who gave me the idea for this story reminded me that I needed to add the ending part! :3

To Solve a Friend's Problem

"I would solve a friend's problem…then also find a way to keep them from ending up with a new one." – Haruhi Fujioka

The day was just another day at the Host Club. Business was booming and all the guests of the fabulous hosts were content and squealing as usual. Honey-senpai was busy getting the girl's to coo over his Lolita cuteness as he lounged on their laps and ate cake (with Mori silently gathering his steady following of girls next to him). The Hitachiin twins were mischievously making goo-goo faces at each other, getting their clients hot and bothered over their brotherly-love performance, Haruhi was carrying tea to her next clients and starting up a smooth conversation as she sat down at a table for three and Tamaki was…well…being Tamaki. The Host Club's king was in top form today, his princely persona awing all of his guests as he leaned in close and batted his eyes, showering the girls with compliments on their beautiful faces and lovely dispositions. It was enough to make Kyoya vomit, only he never did.

The Host Club's shadow king was busy making calculations on his laptop, his adoring fans staring at him from their couches, commenting on how cool he looked, how handsome he was and how well he carried himself. That was enough to tick him off, but he never showed it, placing his duty to the club and willingness to perform for some sort of gain outweighing any disgust and boredom he might have. And based on how the club usually worked (especially with Tamaki) something interesting was bound to happen at some point. Kyoya just kept typing on his computer, sharing in minimal conversation with his guests (who really didn't mind the stretched silences because they were too busy fawning with each other over his cool persona) and taking the occasional sip of coffee from his teacup. A long chunk of time was spent in this manner until Tamaki wandered over to Haruhi and pissed her off.

"Would you stop doing this, senpai?" The cross-dressing girl hissed. Kyoya looked up, his interest peaking mildly as he watched the blond king try to get Haruhi to agree to "cross dress" as a girl with her adoring clients egging them on.

"I think you'd be sooooo cute in a dress, Haruhi!" A blond girl squealed, hearts popping out from her head.

"Yeah! You're pretty like a girl anyway so I'm sure you'd be able to pull it off great!" A brunette agreed, hearts spilling from her head now as well.

"But, I…uh…" Haruhi stumbled over her words and Tamaki took this as a opportunity to pounce.

"It would be the perfect chance to express your particular type of feminine beauty for all these ladies to see! That way they can be in awe of you like one would be of a glorious painting." The blond threw his hands out dramatically and somehow managed to throw them in front of himself away with a frilly dress in them. "And we can start with this!" Tamaki winked, causing several of the girls to faint dead away but Haruhi was having none of that.

"No way in hell, senpai." She shot down the idea before it could get too far and Tamaki was left sitting in the corner, depressed and so void of color he was white with a black outline. This was typical behavior for the two of them, but Kyoya couldn't help but take amusement at it each time. It was too hilarious and over the top. The raven-haired boy looked over at his best friend and smiled a little wider, earning several coos and ooos from his own guests as they clapped their hands together and gushed at him.

"What's wrong? The beloved daughter not behaving well…daddy?" Kyoya teased, hiding his smile behind his computer. Tamaki's entire body shivered from his butt, up his spine and all the way through his hair – spiking all the way like he'd been electrocuted or something. His color was immediately restored and Tamaki wasn't moving anymore. This was unlike the blond and Kyoya tipped his head in puzzlement. Usually when his color came back, Tamaki started performing again just as he always had; it was his flamboyant personality and mood swings that usually got him moving again. The shadow king watched his friend a few seconds more and then noticed how he slightly squirmed in his kneel and that got the raven thinking.

Kyoya snapped his computer shut and stood up, pushing his glasses up on his nose and walking over to Tamaki with a hooded expression on his face. The blond jumped at his approach but stayed in the exact same spot, not looking up or scooting an inch away from the approaching man. Kyoya reached Tamaki's pouting corner and reached out to grab his shoulder, pulling the host back to open up his body posture. What he found hiding in that corner was almost shocking enough to cause the raven to lose his cool…only he didn't. Because Tamaki was almost losing it enough for the both of them.

 _I can't believe it! I call him "daddy" and he gets a boner! Right in the middle of club hours!_ Kyoya's thought processes went flying as Tamaki's strange fetish caused the both of them a whole slew of problems, the most pressing one sitting right in the king's pants. _I can't let the girl's see this indecency and Tamaki definitely wouldn't want any of the other hosts to see this, especially Haruhi…who is partly to blame for this because he was in the corner because of her, and its my fault for teasing his unknown preference for nick names…and it's Tamaki's fault for getting aroused in the first place! I need to get him out of here to fix this little problem discretely._ Meanwhile, while Kyoya was thinking at lightning speed, Tamaki had been looking up at the man for several seconds, waiting for the lecture or the death glare or the disapproval, quaking at the thought. Instead, he got the opposite of what he was thinking he was going to get.

"Tamaki, come with me. _Now_." Kyoya grabbed the embarrassed man's hand and yanked on it firmly, drawing the blond towards the exit.

"Kyoya-senpai, where are you going?" Haruhi called, standing up from her current spot at table number six and leaning her hands on the flat surface. Kyoya, not wanting any of the other hosts to see Tamaki's situation, quickly pushed the blond behind him as he turned around to address their fellow hosts.

"I just need to speak with Tamaki about something for a minute. I'll be back with him soon, so please, enjoy yourselves and remember: keep the ladies happy while we're away." The vice-president instructed his men.

"Yes, sir!" Honey and the twins saluted and chanted in chorus. Mori just gave the raven a blank look before nodding and Haruhi just sighed and moodily agreed before going back to entertain her customers and several of Tamaki's that wandered over to pass the pair's absence with conversation and coffee.

"Now, Tamaki," Kyoya said, "Come with me." The raven then flipped around and took his friend by the shoulders and pushed him out the door.

"But, Kyoya-" Tamaki started to protest, but one slightly harsher push had him sprawling out the door and into the hallway.

" _Now_ , Tamaki." The vice-president firmly grabbed his friend's arm and pulled him down the ornate hallway. "Come with me." The two boys followed the hallway and twisted around a corner. Several classmates were walking down this hall, so Kyoya placed himself slightly in front of Tamaki's…ahem…boner, but still let the other students see his face when the blond leaned over to greet the three students passing them.

"Hi, Tamaki!" One girl gushed.

"Hello there!" The blond replied with his signature smile and wave. The other girl only had eyes for Kyoya (to which he nodded a silent hello and got a blush in return). The gentleman with them just smiled and all three of the students passed the pair without incident. And then Kyoya was grabbing Tamaki's hand and rushing down the hallway to the bathroom (with a most dignified gait to be sure).

The two boys nearly fell over themselves in the bathroom, dignity aside because two men could _not_ go through a single door at the same time! Tamaki and Kyoya pushed past each other and tumbled into the bathroom, both of them looking at each other and their non-decorum-like situation. And then Kyoya got right to the problem. He stood up, pushed his glasses up further on his nose and hauled Tamaki to his feet and pushed him into one of the spacious bathroom stalls, locking the door behind both of them. And then he got right to work, briskly reaching down Tamaki's pants and under his jacket, his pale fingers undoing the button and zipper of the blonde's pants in record time.

"Kyoya! What are you going to-" Tamaki tried to speak again, his voice getting louder with each word, but the vice-president was having none of it.

"Tamaki, _please_. For once in your life _be quiet_." The raven-haired boy said sternly, pulling down his friend's pants to his knees. Tamaki's hands flew toward his crotch, trying to grab his pants and shove Kyoya out the door at the same time. The raven was having none of that.

"You don't have to! I can-"

"We're here to help each other out." Kyoya smiled at Tamaki, the inch between their height leaving the raven's gray eyes just below the blonde's startling blue. At first it was a sincere smile, and then Kyoya's head tipped slightly, his rimless glasses glinting, foreboding a catch or an ambiguously mischievous comment. "And we both know that I can get this done efficiently and that you'd take forever doing it." Tamaki blushed in embarrassment again, his head snapping up as the act of jerking off was talked about so professionally, and by the person currently pulling down underwear!

"What's so wrong about liking a little pleasure?" The blond asked, not looking at Kyoya at all as his erection sprang out of his pants, standing proudly as if nothing was embarrassing or so completely _wrong_ about this situation.

"Nothing." Kyoya replied calmly. "We just don't have time to waste here."

Tamaki's face was beat red and Kyoya found this extremely amusing.

Having never given anyone else a hand job except himself, Kyoya started with the basics: what he liked when he had this particular problem. First though, he spit on his hand to make sure he didn't hurt Tamaki right off the bat. He really wished he had some sort of lubricant with him, but he didn't. Even his hand lotion was still in the club room in his bag (because there is nothing unmanly about carrying around hand lotion). Then, Kyoya wrapped his hand around Tamaki firmly, instantly getting a reaction. Tamaki stiffened, his body going taunt as he threw his hand over his mouth, muffling a groan. _If only the girls could see him now, the big king all flustered._ Kyoya smiled suavely, starting to stroke up and down gently, his other hand coming up to cradle his friend's balls and toy with them gently. Tamaki's legs were starting to shake now as the play went on, the blond biting down on his hand so his moans didn't echo around in the bathroom. It was vexing because Tamaki was so vocal most of the time, but he couldn't be now, the suspense of keeping quiet heightening the experience as Kyoya started to stroke faster, alternating between thumbing the head of his erection and teasing his balls like a sadist. White pre-cum started dribbling out of the tip of the blonde's member, the liquid making lubrication so much easier for the raven to smooth out his actions.

"K-kyo-oya…" Tamaki whispered, panting as his body temperature rose. He threw one hand out to brace himself against the wall, the resulting, unwanted sound earning him a punishing, tighter – almost unbearable – grip and a sharp tug on his balls. Tamaki bit his lip to try and keep himself silent, only the tiniest of squeaks escaping. Kyoya was still smiling mischievously, but he was fully intent upon his work as he started stroking faster, harder, trying to bring the blond to his orgasm. Tamaki's hips started thrusting instinctually, pushing against the raven's hands as gripped a little snugger, stroked a little faster.

Suddenly there was a banging when the door opened and Kyoya was in action in the same second. The raven clapped his hand (the one that had been teasing the blonde's balls) around Tamaki's mouth to silence him and did a spin jump onto the toilet (elegantly, of course), so that in the off chance that whoever entered the bathroom looked down, they'd only see one set of feet. Unfortunately, this put a halt to his actions as they both tried to keep quiet and Kyoya could see Tamaki's very, very evident distress. So he very gently started fondling Tamaki's member again, trying not to be too hard and elicit a very pleasurable, damning moan from the blond. Fortunately, Tamaki was already a part of the program and bit his lip under the raven's hand (even if the smallest of sounds slipped out), thrusting into his ministrations as whoever else was in the bathroom started peeing in one of the urinals. Thankfully, they were quick with their business, flushed, washed up and left, banging the door on the way out again. But during that whole stretch of silence, Tamaki was slowly going mad.

He wanted that rough treatment Kyoya had been giving him earlier! Even now, he could feel his completion creeping up on him and he wanted it to end on a fabulous note, not on this wimpy action!

"Kyoya…" He whispered, hoping that his desperation was evident in his voice. Of course, Kyoya already knew and jumped off the toilet again; taking two steps around the blond and began roughly stoking again, this time his free hand thumbing the head of Tamaki's erection. Only a few minutes later of thrusting and stoking, stifling pants and moans of pleasure did Tamaki's balls finally tighten all the way, notifying Kyoya that he was coming. The raven quickly opened his mouth and engulfed the erection as far as he could as Tamaki cried out (the sound slightly muffled by biting his hand) and dumped his load down the raven's throat. It was a sticky, hot, thick mess as Kyoya had to take multiple swallows of the bitter liquid, making sure to keep any off his glasses so he didn't have to clean them too and then quickly licked off Tamaki to finish up their business.

"K-kyoya…you didn't…have to…swallow it…" Tamaki said between pants as the raven licked his lips clean and tucked Tamaki's member back into his underwear and then his pants, zipping them up with finality.

"It was the most efficient way to dispose of your bodily fluids and would require less time to clean up. Hence, now I only need to wash my mouth and you'll need to wash up later, after club activities have ended." Kyoya stood, straightened both his and Tamaki's jackets before unlocking the stall to wash his hands and rinse out his mouth. Tamaki followed him out to the sinks and absentmindedly washed his hands as well, the water filling the silence. Drying their hands on the soft bath towels, Kyoya and Tamaki then walked outside, the silence still following them. That was the first time either of them had done something like that with anyone besides themselves and Tamaki didn't know how to broach a thank you without it seeming forced and Kyoya wasn't looking for a thank you, just the enjoyment of watching Tamaki squirm a little for his trouble.

"T-thank-" Tamaki started after several moments of silence, their footsteps echoing in the empty halls of the school.

"No need to thank me, Tamaki." Kyoya interrupted (he was doing a lot of that today). "We're here to solve each other's problems and I also intend to make sure you don't have other problems in the future, club-related or not. So I hope you'll always ask for my help when you need it and when it benefits me in some way." The raven replied, his sincerity towards his friend showing through his disinterested façade.

"And I hope you'll do the same if you're ever in trouble, Kyoya." Tamaki smiled, looking at the man next to him and tipping his head childishly. He was completely back to normal now, surprising considering what they had just done, but Kyoya wasn't surprised. Tamaki was good at adapting and making the best of situations, even if he foundered a little bit in the beginning. They smiled at each other and were the perfect picture of put together when they walked back into the club room, their relationship shifting and growing to include other, more pleasurable activities and increased comfort with each other.

Of course, Kyoya had to come up with a pretty good excuse about what they'd needed to "talk about alone" when they got back to the music room…but it wasn't something he couldn't handle. Except the twins evil smiles…that he could barely handle because the twins were the twins and he'd just learned to roll with it...but something seemed decidedly cunning of them in that moment and Kyoya had the sinking suspicion that something bad would happen very soon. But he would handle that problem when it presented itself. He always did.

On the other hand, Tamaki was no help at all. But at least he kept his mouth shut for the second time that day.

~ A short time earlier ~

Kaoru and Hikaru were suspicious. It was odd for Kyoya and Tamaki to essentially abandon their guests, even for just a short time to "talk." The brothers took a moment to think and then gave each other a look.

"What was…" Hikaru started.

"…that?" Kaoru finished. The younger twin threw his arm around his brother as Hikaru crossed his arms. They narrowed their eyes at the retreating pair of hosts, their amber eyes sparkling.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Hikaru asked, sliding his bright eyes towards his other half.

"If you're thinking what I'm thinking," Kaoru answered, his eyes sliding into the same sideways glance at his brother.

"The 'Let's Find Out What They're Up to Game!'" The twins giggled quietly, a mischievous tinkle glinting in their eyes.

The twins snuck out of the music room when no one else was looking. They smiled devilishly as they snuck down the hall, twenty steps behind Kyoya and Tamaki. They were stopped by a group of students, and the twins hid behind a corner and stuck their heads out to watch carefully. Kyoya nodded to the two girls and the boy, standing slightly in front of Tamaki as the blond smiled and waved at their fellow students. They passed without incident and the twins quietly popped from corner to corner, pillar to pillar, their smirks getting bigger and bigger with each step. And then their eyes popped wide when the pair of second year students dashed into the bathroom around the corner, falling all over themselves to get inside. That peaked the twins' interest even more and they tip toed over to the bathroom door, ignoring all the weird looks they were getting from the few students still in the hallway and glued their ears to the door. They heard the click of a bathroom stall door and then Tamaki was saying something. The twins tried to press closer, the excitement of their game getting underway.

"Kyoya!" They heard Tamaki gasp, "What are you…" The rest drifted off out of their hearing range.

"Tamaki, _please…_ " Kyoya replied, but then his voice softened too...like they didn't want anyone to hear them. That just made the twins want to hear _more_. The rest of the conversation was muffled even in an echo-y bathroom. The boys looked at each other and shrugged, cracking the door slightly to hear better. They weren't afraid of getting caught, now that the hallways had cleared out and crowded in on the crack in the door. There was a lot of shifting and soft noises from the bathroom, but the twins couldn't _really_ tell what was going on…at it was vexing them. Both the boys let the door close quietly and crouched on the floor, their arms wrapped around their knees as they faced each other.

"We need to get in there." The brothers stated at the same time, their faces deadly serious.

"But who…" Kaoru started.

"Gets to go in?" Hikaru finished. They glared at each other and then their hands came out.

"Rock! Paper! Scissors!" They whispered, shaking their hands up and down three times and throwing out a sign. Kaoru's hand showed paper and Hikaru had scissors.

"Ha!" The older twin laughed quietly, smiling mischievously and smirking at the same time.

"Damn…" The younger twin tsked, snapping his head to the side and pouted. And with that, Hikaru jumped up and banged his way into the bathroom, throwing the door open with a crash. Whatever was going on in the bathroom suddenly stopped as Hikaru's shoes clacked on the tiles. The first year student walked over to a urinal and unzipped his pants, still listening for errant sounds as he relieved himself. Nothing was happening and Hikaru leaned over slightly to look under the bathroom stalls as he did his business. All he saw was one pair of shoes in one of the stalls and that got him thinking. _Where is the other one?_ And then the smallest of sounds (that sounded much to much like a moan) squeaked out of the stall with the shoes. The ginger thought about it for a second, and came to the conclusion that both Tamaki and Kyoya were in the same stall, with one standing on the floor and the other somewhere up where he couldn't see. On the toilet, or something like that. Hikaru's resulting smirk would've scared the Devil himself, as the possibilities of naughty trysts unfolded in his brain. _They're worse than Kaoru and I am!_ Having gotten what he wanted, Hikaru finished up his bathroom break, flushed, washed his hands and walked out, slamming the door shut behind him. Kaoru was on him in an instant, throwing his arms around his twin's shoulders and leaning in to hear the report.

"So…what was it?" The ginger asked his twin. Hikaru chuckled and smiled again, the evil glint in his eyes growing ever brighter.

"From my observations, I have come to find out that our dear senpai Tamaki and our not-so-dear senpai Kyoya are in cahoots with each other." Kaoru tipped his head curiously.

"So they're…" Kaoru started, already starting to figure out just what his giggling twin was getting at.

"…totally jerking off in the bathroom together!" The twins' fangs came out then, their smiles scaring the shit out of everything within a thirty meter radius (if anyone had actually walked past them at that moment). They had dirt on their upperclassmen and they were going to use said dirt when the perfect opportunity presented itself. But, for now…they had to get their asses back into the club room before anyone noticed that they were missing. The two little devils cackled all the way back to the music room and then composed themselves for their guests, the mischievous air around them luring in their guests like a moth to flame. Soon the boys were surrounded by more girls than they had before, but it didn't matter…because when Tamaki and Kyoya walked back into the club room, they couldn't keep the evil smiles off their faces. And when they saw that Kyoya had noticed, they knew that he knew that they knew _something_ , even if he couldn't pinpoint _exactly_ what it was. And that was just perfect…for now. The twins would find a significant use for their information later. They always did…and it would be a fun game indeed.

~ End ~

A/N: Hope you enjoyed that smexiness and don't forget to review and tell me how I did! :3 See ya next time!


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